Why you should give up sex and devote yourself to complaining

The elevator jolted to a stop. I was somewhere between the 29th and 30th floor. Stuck. My thoughts started to spiral. This marbled and mirrored box could be my mausoleum. But my fears soon dissolved as I realized that this little cloud could have a lucrative lining and I smiled knowingly across at my husband.

It turns out the gods really were smiling on me that day, not only was the lift in a salubrious 5-star hotel, but once freed, I was stuck a further two times in that lift and the food and champagne they promised as…